I went through a phase of trying to avoid mirrors as much as possible, but at the same time, trying to make myself feel better about the way I looked by constantly buying clothes. I felt uncomfortable whenever someone pulled out a camera, and I tried to hide behind my friends when I could. It was some mean feat, seeing as I was taller (not to mention wider) than most of my friends.
I used to hate my stomach, my thighs, the jiggling bits on my arms. Since I've started trying to become a more positive person, I've been slowly learning to love and respect my body. I have a long way to go yet. I saw a photo of myself taken over the weekend, and I just wanted to curl up and cry. I could not find a single nice thing to say about how I looked. And lately, I've been unhappy with parts of my face.
Please don't get me wrong. This isn't about me fishing for compliments, or asking for attention. I'm not asking for advice either. I know what I should do and I know what is good for me and what is bad. I've managed to get down to 70kgs before and I know I can do it again.
I'm trying to change. I'm trying to understand that I only have one body, one life to live, and that it's a gift that I should care for. I am complete, I have nothing to complain about. I can change most of the things that I am unhappy with, by exercising. I acknowledge that it was nobody's fault but mine. I also acknowledge that what I want to achieve takes time, and a whole lot of hard work. I've neglected my body and my health for so many years, and so it will take some time and effort to repair the damage I've done to it.
In the wise words of Maya Angelou: "If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude."
What don't you like about your body? What steps can you take towards accepting, and maybe loving, your body?